Gameboy is not just for kids.

       He's a gamer!  He's got game!  The game's afoot! You're in the game!  Put on your game face!  Let the games begin!  The game is up!  Life's a game!   Do you see a theme here?   This week we are talking about playing games. 
        Our society has hundreds of sayings that involve the word "game'  or allude to playing a game but, what does this have to do with making a career transition?   Let's think about it.
       To win at any game you need several attributes including: endurance, stamina, patience, strategy, adaptability, constant learning knew skills and networking.   Webster's New World College Dictionary Fourth Edition defines a gamer as "1-an athlete who is game, 2-one who is highly competitive, steadfast and reliable etc especially in difficult situations 3-a person who plays electronic games."   Do these skills and abilities sound like traits that potential employers would like?   If so, then perhaps you should consider learning to play online games.
        Facebook offers many online games for free.  You invite people from your Facebook family to play with you.  As you progress, you announce to people your status and people will invite you to play with them.  Online games can vary from traditional board games such as chess to new electronic games that mimic reality TV shows.  In some games, you provide "gifts" to your fellow players, ask for favors, challenge them and leave messages.  By participating in online games you can stay in touch with others and build relationships. This is great way to network without focusing on the issue of employment. 
       Playing online games is a fantastic way to relax.  One word of caution, potential employers can check out your Facebook site so you may want to be selective of the games that you choose to play, what you say as well as with whom you choose to associate or make your neighbor in the game. 
       All games require you to have some basic computer skills including keyboarding, saving data, and bookmarking.  Other games require you to create an avatar.  Again, a word of caution should be used when creating the symbolic version of you.  Avoid being overly seductive or violent.
       Have you considered how playing online games could improve your communication skills?  Did you realize that people "Blog" and Tweet about their online game experiences?  By following Blogs and Tweets you can learn common abbreviations that are used when texting.  Common terms are 'UR",  "C" , "OMG",  "LOL",  LMAO" and  IDK.   This is how Gen Xs prefer to communicate.  Being able to communicate with all the generations in the force is a definitely a good skill to possess.
        Games are not restricted to computers but are also on smart  phones, kindles, nooks, Ipads and Ipods. It is my observation that people enjoy discussing their progress and sharing hints in person as well as online.  This means you could use knowledge of an online game as an icebreaker.  You may even use this activity to answer the question "tell me about yourself" during a job interview if you are using an online games in order to help you with a volunteer activity such as being a Big Brother/Big Sister.
           So, do you have game?          
          
          
          

Attitude is Everything

      I recently read the book  "Attitude is Everything  10 Life-Changing Steps to Turning Attitude into Action" by the late Keith Harrell.   Reading motivational books such as autobiographies and self -help books are a great source and inexpensive way to maintain a positive outlook while addressing a life challenge.  
     The 10 steps that the author discusses are:

1. Understanding the Power of Attitude
2. Take Control of Your Life
3. Practice Self-Awareness
4. Re-frame Your Bad Attitude
5. Find Your Purpose and Passion
6. Be Pre-Active
7. Discover How to Motivate Yourself
8. Build Supportive Relationships
9. See Change as an Opportunity
10. Leave a Lasting Legacy

      The fact that you are reading this Blog indicates that you are addressing several of the steps.  Please note that there is a significant difference between pre-active and pro-active behavior.  A Google search of these terms indicates that they are 2 of the the 4 methods in which organizations plan.  Those methods are: reactive, inactive, pro-active and pre-active.  Pro and pre-active planning are necessary to facilitate a career change.  In the book, the 7 Habits of Highly Successful People the need to be pro-active was stressed and fully described. 
      How you perceive change is extremely important.  If the loss of your job is seen as a negative then you are less likely to want to seek employment elsewhere.  Why?  Because somewhere in your mind you believe:

• you will never find another job or position as good as the one you had
• that job was the only type work you can do
• you deserve to be unemployed

However, if you can see the benefits of not having the job then you are consider other options such as:

• being able to explore other career options
• going back to school
• re-organizing your lifestyle
• having more time to pursue your personal goals

     There is the old saying "Smile and the whole world smiles with you but, when you cry  you cry alone."  By having a positive attitude, you are more likely to gain and maintain the support of people while you seek other employment.  You will appear more confident, professional as well as being percieved as being a team player during your interviews.  These are all positive attributes that any employer will want!

Everywhere you go - There you are!

      As a life and career coach, people frequently come to me with questions regarding their career options but I always start at at same place.  I ask how are things going in their life in general.  Your life consists of 5 sections:  health/well-being, financial, vocational, relationships, leisure and spiritual. 

• Health/well-being: your physical health, stamina, grooming, attire.  
• Financial:       savings, earnings, retirement plan, insurance, investments, taxes, etc
• Vocational:    education, work history, hobbies,
• Relationships: all social interactions including parents, friends, children, significant others, co-workers 
• Leisure:         anything you do for fun
• Spiritual:        your believe and value system

Many people don't realize that an imbalance in any area will impact the others. So, how do you incorporate the various aspects of your life into your job search? 
 Health/well-being:   are you physically able to perform your anticipated job duties,  is your medical information organized so that you can provide it if needed, can you explain any disability for which you are seeking job accommodations, are there work hours that best meet your needs, is your appearance current, should you loose some weight.

• Financial: what is the minimum income that you need, what benefits do you need, can you afford to relocate, what is the going rate for the job that you are seeking
• Relationships: are your family and friends supportive, are you on good terms with at least 3 former co-workers and 3 peers that can serve as references for you.  
• Leisure activities: can be used to demonstrate leadership skills, personal qualities, networking opportunities
• Spiritual activities:  will help you stay focused and motivated with your career transition.  Do you share your spiritual believes with those that are going to be your primary emotional supports during this time?

Take the time, to review how you are doing in these areas.  Consider how your ideal life would be, how would you change your life, what would you leave the same and why would you make these decisions.  Try not to blame problems in your vocational life for problems in other aspects of your life.

For daily job search information Tweet me @CYCWC  and for more information on balancing you life please, contact me at 402.965.1496 or chartingyourcoursewithcoaching@gmail.com. 

I am my best instructor.

     Say it again - I am my best instructor.  This statement is only true if you can review your experiences objectively and learn from them. 
     By objectively I mean two things.  First you need to recognize and accept what is within your control and what is not. Children think magically and assume that they can magically change things.  Some people play the blame game.  Nothing is ever their fault.  If they don't have a job it is not because they lack job skills but because the economy is bad.   
     Recognizing how you have improved your performance during your job search is a critical skill.  After the interview, you should ask yourself questions like were you prepared for the interview, did you arrive on time, have a copy of your resume, have information on the people you are using for references.  Did you have questions for your interviewer and answer questions in a brief but complete manner?  Did you address the interviewer by name?  Did you get the business cards or names of other people that were present at the interview?  If you could do the day over what would you change?  What would you leave the same?    
       Armed with this information, how are you going to change?  Perhaps, you could do mock interviews?  Can you brainstorm with a friend?  Could you make a check list of things that you should bring? If you believe you didn't answer question satisfactorily perhaps you could reword your answer in your thank you letter?  Perhaps, you could review the interview questions and develop answers. 
       Each experience can make you better but only if you take responsibility for things that are within your control.  But how do you decide if something is within your control?  I  suggest that you make absolute statements.  Since the statement  "Absolutely, no one is being hired." is not true then you know there is something that you can do become hired.  You can also ask people that recently found employment for feedback. 
       So not only are you your best instructor but you are your best student.
    

Back to the future.

      Every where you go, people are talking about their reunions.  Elementary, high school, college even the military groups are having reunions this time of the year.  Are you going?  Is it going to be an online reunion or in person?  Being unemployed or underemployed does not justify being absent.  This might be the best networking opportunity that you may have all year.  
     People change.  One look at your yearbook photos, will let you know that you have changed.  Physical appearance is not the only thing that has been modified by time.  The class jerk might been a manager in a Fortune 500 company.  Loners may be involved in relationships with very influential people.  So how do you impress them without appearing desperate or needy?  
      Take a deep breath and relax.  Most likely, you will not be the only person in the room that is looking for work.  Your goal is not to get hired at the reunion but to reconnect with old friends, because being recommended for a job by an employee of the company is one of the best ways to cut through red tape and get an interview.  Ask your friends about their lives and don't forget to ask about people that are not present.  Absentees could have work obligations that prevented them from attending.  Talk about yourself but really focus on what other people are doing.  Not just their current position but how they made the transition from school or the military into that position.  Let them know that their story is very interesting and that you would like to talk with them some more.  Be sure to work the room and talk with everyone including teachers.
      Follow-up is critical.   You need to call people within a week of the event.  Now is not the time to tell them that you are unemployed and want their help.  You are developing relationships by conducting informational interviews.  During your conversations reveal your strengths by relating experiences that demonstrate your abilities but continue to focus on the other person.  Find out their career plans, information about their industry as well as their company.  Be really interested in them and focus on cultivating a relationship because asking too early in the game will alienate the person. They will feel used and/or manipulated.  Your objective is gain a mentor not create an enemy.  When you present your circumstances, let them know that you value this relationship and would like them to be your confidant and an advisor.   Again, you are not asking them to give you a job just advise.  They could proofread your resume or cover letters.  Ask them to be a reference for you on LinkedIn and/or if your could join their LinkedIn group or be friends on Facebook.  Naturally, if you realize that this is not someone that you would as a mentor, you have the option to ask them to recommend you to someone that could serve in that capacity or just let the relationship die.     
     A business card is a resume so be sure to circulate your card and collect others. It has your name, contact information and something about your professional qualifications.  Tactfully list your qualifications by including your degree (B.S.,  M.B.A, etc) or a generic job title under your name.  If you have a or Facebook page or website include it but only if it is strictly for business. Sites like http://www.vistaprint.com/ can make quality cards for very little money very quickly.  Jot notes on the back of business card for talking points when you do your follow-up calls.
     Is your reunion online, take this opportunity to demonstrate your computer skills.  Volunteer to establish a Facebook page, website or broadcast on Tweeter.  Post pictures and connect these sites to other places of interest to the group. 
    You can't undo the past but you act in the present and have faith in tomorrow.  The downside of any reunion is knowing that you were a jerk and/or voted most likely to go to jail, people will remember you.  Accept the fact, that you acted in a manner that was not socially acceptable when you were a student.  Apologize if it is appropropriate but keep moving.  Don't waste time and energy trying to get the sympathy vote by telling everyone how abused you were at home, even if you were abused.  You want people to know that you have changed for the better.  Focus on two or three strengths and stories that demonstrate these abilities.  If you clearly, offended or injured someone then arrange to meet with them in the future to apologize and make amends.  This will demonstrate that you have really changed for the better.  If people, retell stories about you from the past, update the endings by adding "lessons learned"  statement.  This will give your an opportunity to relate how that experience helped you to grow and who helped your development.  
    Regardless of your current circumstances or the issues that brought to this position take the time to connect with your past.  Who knows your future might be there.

Career advise from my mom.

      Our parents have a tremendous impact on our career choices, goals and work habits, but, have you considered how they impacted your job search?   In honor of Mother's Day, this  week I am going to share some pearls of wisdom from my mom. 

1. No one will know how good you are if you don't bang your own drum.
2. Nothing beats a failure but a try.
3. Be polite.
4. Respect your elders (more mature people that you supervise and young people in managerial positions).
5. You want your boss to love you.  Always do your best work.
6. God gave you a mouth - ask questions.
7. Wear clean clothes.
8. Sit up straight.
9. Keep your focus.
10. Keep learning to keep earning.
11. Be friends with everyone on your job.
12. Mind your mouth (don't gossip).
13. Remember where you came from and who you are.
14. Just because everyone is doing it doesn't make it right.
15. Ask God to bless your efforts
16. Be mindful of the little people (or be respectful of all people including the cleaning people)
17. No job is too little for you (all assignments deserve your full attention)
18. Be true to yourself
19. Come early - stay late
20. You can't fall if you are sitting on the ground.
21. Be helpful.
22. Think!
23. Be thankful for your job.
24. Smile!
25. Ask God to guide your steps.
26. A dollar has four corners.  Pinch a corner for charity, a rainy day, to invest in yourself and one to live on.
27. Have pride in yourself because you are standing on the shoulders of your forefathers but never be over confident
28. You can learn with your eyes, ears as well as you hands. 
29. Take pride in your work.  Always do your best!
30. Look people in the eye when you talk with them.
31. Beauty comes from within not a jar.
32. Help others because someone helped you.
33. You are never alone.  Someone is always watching you even if it just your own conscious.
34. Aim for the stars, if you miss you'll catch the moon, if you miss the moon you'll catch the clouds, if you miss the clouds you'll land in a tree and if you miss the tree you'll still be on the ground. 
35.  If the Devil closes the door,  God will open the window but you need to climb out.

Amazing!  My mom knew the importance of networking, branding, self care, faith and optimism in order to keep and maintain a job.    



    

Staying Positive While Changing Careers

       A very useful tool, to stay motivated while changing careers is to read biographies of successful people.  “Miracles Happen” by Mary Kay Ash describes her life and the issues she had to address in order to launch Mary Kay Cosmetics.  She faced discrimination and her share of family drama.  However, rather than becoming complacent or despondent, she made a decision to be somebody.  “Miracles Happen” is full of vignettes that stress the importance of faith in you, a kind word, networking and servant leadership.  Mary Kay Ash is a terrific example on how to reinvent youself. 

      So how did, Mary Kay Ash reinvent herself?  First, she had to be honest with herself.  This means she had to critically assess her situation and recognize both the good and bad.  She had to identify what works and what was a waste of resources.  Secondly, she set priorities and developed a plan.  Third, she worked long and hard on her plan while being enthusiastic.  Does this sound overwhelming?  Complicated?    Exhausting?  You are absolutely right! 

       Mary Kay Ash lived by simple rules that anyone can adopt.  Her priorities were clear – first God, then family and then career.  She lived her motto which is the Golden Rule, or treat others as you would like to be treated.  She surrounded herself with positive, supportive people that shared her values and work ethic.  She was not afraid to ask for help.  She kept her word.  She had a vision and broke into smaller achievable steps and she celebrated these achievements.   None of these concepts are novel but they are very easy to break when things get difficult. 

     One of the primary reasons, she established Mary Kay Ash Cosmetics was to empower women while they balanced work, family and civic obligations.   Yes, she recognized the need to make sacrifices at times however, it was imperative to maintain balance in your life.   This takes insight and discipline.  Is your life in balance?  Do you know what your values and priorities are?  Do you have a clear vision of what you want to accomplish?  If you answered no to any of these questions, then you should consider obtaining life or career transition coaching.  Call me at 402.965.1496 for a complimentary session.   

Networking during the holidays.

The holidays present terrific opportunities for you to network.  You have a built in excuse to contact former employers, co-workers, classmates, military buddies and extended family.  However, have you considered how religious and cultural events could help you expand your network?

      From November to February there are a plethora of cultural and religious activities that are sponsored by colleges, museums, religious and civic organizations not to mention bookstores, grocery stores and wine galleries that are designed to enlighten the public.  The costs of these events are usually free or minimal.  By attending events that are not reflective of your heritage, you increase your chances of meeting someone that you don’t know as well as demonstrating your ability to function in the global market.  The newspaper and library will have information about public events for Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and Feast of the Three Kings, Ramadan and Chinese New Year.  Your goal should be to attend at least one event every day.

      So how can you take advantage of these networking opportunities?  Holiday networking is like speed dating.  Prepare for these events, by learning a little about the sponsoring organization, identify key people that should be in attendance that you want to meet and learn the purpose of the celebration.  This information will also help you determine how you should dress.  Have 5 to 10 questions designed to keep the conversation light, interesting and moving.  If possible, practice using your questions so that you will feel comfortable.  You can chat up people in the buffet line and during intermissions.  Knowing a few key phrases in the language that will be used will impress people.  Just like in speed dating, you are only making the initial contact and will follow-up with an actual date.

    Focus on your potential “date” by listening attentively.  Ask questions about them, their reason for attending and the role their company plays in these events.  Do not linger with one person; because they came to have fun and you came to meet people.  Before you end the conversation, exchange business cards and let the person know that you would like to talk with them again.

     Personal business cards should be no more than four lines.  The purpose of the card is for your contact to remember you and reach you.  If you plan to introduce yourself as Bob then list that name rather than Robert on the card.  Do not assume the person will make the connection because they might have been drinking or focused on other issues while you spoke.  Your phone number and email should be listed.  Credentials can be tactfully included i.e. Bob Smith, BSW.  Jot notes about the person/event on the back of their card.  You can also do this on the back of blank cards.  Invest in a nice card case and pen in order to make a professional impression. 

     Just like in dating, the sooner you make that follow-up call the more likely the other person will consider you a serious contender.  Remind them who you are and where you met before asking for an appointment.   You are requesting an informational interview in order to get to know their company better.  Expecting a job interview is akin to expecting a marriage proposal after the first date, so go slow.

     As a life coach, I encourage people to balance all aspects of their life.  Networking during the holidays should not take you away from your family.  Many activities are designed for families with children, so feel free to make this a family event but make sure your children are a positive reflection of you.  They should be well behaved and not ill.  Relax and have fun but getting intoxicated is a definite no-no.  For obvious reasons, avoid eating foods that are dripping sauce, could affect your breath or stick in your teeth.  Times are hard but be prepared to make a donation.  Ask for a receipt for your taxes, this will put you on their mailing list as well as give you a deduction.  One thing, that all of these religious and cultural events have in common, is  the concept of gratitude and hope for the future; I want to encourage you to embrace this positive energy.  If you want more information or would like help preparing for holiday networking call or email me.