I am my best instructor.

     Say it again - I am my best instructor.  This statement is only true if you can review your experiences objectively and learn from them. 
     By objectively I mean two things.  First you need to recognize and accept what is within your control and what is not. Children think magically and assume that they can magically change things.  Some people play the blame game.  Nothing is ever their fault.  If they don't have a job it is not because they lack job skills but because the economy is bad.   
     Recognizing how you have improved your performance during your job search is a critical skill.  After the interview, you should ask yourself questions like were you prepared for the interview, did you arrive on time, have a copy of your resume, have information on the people you are using for references.  Did you have questions for your interviewer and answer questions in a brief but complete manner?  Did you address the interviewer by name?  Did you get the business cards or names of other people that were present at the interview?  If you could do the day over what would you change?  What would you leave the same?    
       Armed with this information, how are you going to change?  Perhaps, you could do mock interviews?  Can you brainstorm with a friend?  Could you make a check list of things that you should bring? If you believe you didn't answer question satisfactorily perhaps you could reword your answer in your thank you letter?  Perhaps, you could review the interview questions and develop answers. 
       Each experience can make you better but only if you take responsibility for things that are within your control.  But how do you decide if something is within your control?  I  suggest that you make absolute statements.  Since the statement  "Absolutely, no one is being hired." is not true then you know there is something that you can do become hired.  You can also ask people that recently found employment for feedback. 
       So not only are you your best instructor but you are your best student.
    

Mr. Mom - The changing roles of men.

     Sunday, was Father's Day.  It is a day to demonstrate our appreciation for everything that our father, grandfather or father figure has done for us.  As a career counselor there are many issues that are associated with being a father. 
     Traditionally, these issues focused on making money and getting benefits.  In the distant past, "doing right" by the baby's mother and getting married was a major concern because how this change would affect the man's work performance due to the emotional pressures.  Now, the decision to remain in the workforce is a major issue.  Child support continues to be a concern.
   The consequences for nonpayment of child support have become more significant over the years.  It could result in a loss of driver's license, garnishment of wages and other legal issues.  Ongoing court battles could result in excessive time off from work.  Not to mention the awful mess that "baby mama drama".  The question of paternity has all but eliminated by the availability and quality of testing.  Involvement or even the suggestion of involvement in a paternity suit or nonpayment of child support is  enough in some professions for a man's reputation to suffer. 
     Even if a man is attempting to be a good father, given the present economy many men are having difficulties meeting the financial obligations that are associated with being the head of household.  Some men are electing to resolve this issue by assuming the role of Mr. Mom.  They are unemployed either by choice or by circumstances.  Some men realize that their significant other is capable of generating more income or has a better chance of sustaining employment then they do and therefore elect to stay home with the child(ren).  Other men were laid off and as a way to adjust to the loss of income, childcare was eliminated and assumed this role.  The stigma of being a stay at home dad is slowly disappearing as more men assume this role due to problems with the economy.  
     According to the U.S. Census bureau, more men are electing to be single dads and stay at home dads.   Men now have the opportunity to take time off from work because company's now offer family leave to men for the birth or adoption of a child.  Furthermore, more men are being sole custody of their children and are being awarded child support.  The final area in which men are making a break through is in the area of adoption and foster care.  Agencies are now accepting of same sex placements as well as permitting single parent adoptions. 
     President Obama stated that being a father is the most difficult and the most rewarding job he has undertaken in his life.  This is from the President of the United States and the leader of the free world!  In order to address the demands of being a dad, the President has started a series of initiative including bowling in order to assist fathers to have quality time with their children.  More information about this initiative is at http://www.fatherhood.gov/. 
     What is the significance of these changes?  As a father or potential father, you have more options in your career path.  When considering a position, you have the right to request your desires to participate in the rearing of your child.  It is socially acceptable to make career decisions based on your desire to be an active participant in the rearing of your child.