And the question is ...

To be or not to be unemployed, that is the question.  Whether it is better to suffer the pitiful stares of friends and family or to take arms against the sea of questions regarding your source of income?  Hamlet was mourning the loss of his father and his identity (son) while the loss of employment represents the loss of income and the identity.  This identity includes income provider, head of household, job title, and possibly a career.  Like Hamlet you are facing a dilemma because you are processing grief.  The question that needs to be answered is - Do you disclose your work situation or not?

Disclosure is the best way to cope with the natural desire to deny being unemployed.  Grief has four stages: denial, anger, negotiation and acceptance.  Each stage is transversed in sequence and can be revisited if emotional prompts are present.  Control when, where and to whom you make initial disclosures.  You need to be open and honest with your family, close friends, financial advisers and most importantly yourself about your situation.  This honesty will help you stay focused and ask questions about benefits, severance packages and gain financial/emotional support during this difficult time.  Given the current economy, most people understand your situation and will be supportive.  This does not mean that there won’t be “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” from concerned family members or friends but the best way to handle them is with a good offense.  You know these people so anticipate their questions and reactions. 

Anger can be directed at others or yourself.  Consider feelings of agitation, discomfort, jealousy, and annoyance when people attempt to provide assistance or advise as indicators that you are in the anger stage.  You might manifest your anger by yelling, screaming, or crying.  Being part of a support group could help ventilate feelings without the emotional fallout.  Many job clubs and state employment offices offer this type of assistance.  The opportunity to vent frustration about your job search and feelings of betrayal by your previous employer is a form of disclosure which could help avoid being overtaken by your negative emotions or engaging in self-destructive behavior.

Hamlet’s soliloquy is an eloquent examinable on how stressful negotiating with oneself can be.  Attempts to define who you are and where you are going will result in many, many hours or debate with yourself.  Monitoring how you talk to yourself during this process is critical to your success.  Why?  The phenomena of self fulfilling prophesy is at work.  If you keep saying “I am unemployed.” you will stay unemployed.  You have a job!  Your job is to discover new options for yourself.  You job is to redefine yourself.  Your job is to explore alternative careers.  Your job is to explore new life styles.  Your job is on hold, while you take a ‘sabbatical’. You job is to preserve your heritage, by caring for an elderly relative.  Your job is to be a role model for your children.  There are many ways in which you define your current life style without focusing on the negative.  There are 5 other aspects to your life which should provide the positive energy to maintain the infrastructure necessary for your life to maintain its shape. 

Accepting your situation does not mean the death of your problems.  There will always be issues in life.  The trick is maintaining the integrity of your infrastructure.  Know your core values, establish and pursue goals, routinely reassess your situation and consider alternatives and look at other parts of your life for inspiration.

The major aspects of your life are: Professional, Financial, Health/Wellness, Spiritual, Emotional and Relationships.  Life coaching could help you understand the relationship between these areas, clarify your values, establish and track your progress towards your goals.  Contact me at 402.965.1496