What are your New Year's resolutions? Are you carrying the same ones from last year? drop 10 pounds? get a better job? learn a new language? Did you give up and not make any? Or are you saying that you don't know what you would like to achieve?
A New Year's resolution is nothing more than establishing a goal publicly and made at the start of the year. We can set a goal at any time but by doing it on New Year's Day, it is easy to break the goal into 12 equal parts and we have an established deadline (12-31-xx). There are many excellent books and articles on why and how to write goals. The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People is a classic example. Reading the biographies of successful people further supports the concept that having a goal is vital for success. Websites such as Monster.com and JobDig can also provide information on how to write goals. Making your goal(s) known is highly recommended because of the support that offered.
So, why don't people sustain the motivation to achieve their goals? The answer could be the confusion between goals and expectations. Goals are personal. The author owns the goal. This is reflected in statements such as "I want to xxx." To achieve a goal there are definitive steps outlined to attain it. It is recommended that goals be written using the S.M.A.R.T or specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely method. Goals are periodically reviewed, re-evaluated and adjusted based on changes in circumstances. There are clear demarcations of when a goal is achieved. An expectation is a hope. Hope can easily lead to an "if this then that" or "if only xxx then I would be able to do xxx" mentality. In other words, achieving the expectation is no longer perceived as being within your control but contingent upon a series of random events. Furthermore, when an expectation is not met, people become disappointed, angry, frustrated and develop resentments. These negative emotions are draining emotionally and mentally which results in an additional loss of focus and sense of control. Expectations are not owned. They are standards based on perceived societal normals are not based on reality but based on works of fictions such as movies or television shows. The demarcations for attaining an expectation are either feelings (ie., I'll be happy when__. I'll feel confident when___) or are contingent on the behavior of others (ie I'll be popular when___. I'll get a great boyfriend when___).
Can you change an expectation into a goal? Yes, you can! Own it and be S.M.A.R.T. on how you challenge yourself to attain it.
If you need help writing goals for yourself, please contact me for assistance at chartingyourcoursewithcoaching@gmail.com.
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